Teens

Teen therapy is the same expert, professional, mental health care that adults receive. Just like with adults, therapy is a safe, welcoming place to recognize and sit with difficult feelings, learn and practice new skills, and receive support for life’s heavy moments.

Therapy with teens is also different because adolescents are at a different place in their brain development and their season of life. During the teen years (and well into adulthood), the prefrontal cortex is still under construction. This area of the brain controls emotion-regulation and decision-making; as a result, teens are less equipped to manage their feelings and think through their actions.

To meet teens where they are and give them what they need, therapy must be attuned to this stage of development and responsive to teens’ unique needs. We make space for their big feelings and practice skills for self-management and self-care. Teens also have different surroundings, priorities, and pressures than adults do: school, friends, and family take on a greater significance for them. Rather than examining long-term patterns, we may attend to more immediate issues, like what’s going on at school or in their relationships. This way, we help teens manage better in the present and build better tools for the future.

Therapy can support teens going through major life challenges, like significant mental health struggles, trauma, or grief. These are heavy experiences for anyone, and teens should get the support they need. But therapy isn’t just for the scariest and most serious issues. Academic pressure, friendship dynamics, family tensions or transitions, identity exploration, self-esteem, and the impacts of social media — these common difficulties may feel overwhelming or may compound to the point of affecting your child’s ability to cope and flourish.

And while therapy can help with a nearly endless list of topics, every teen will experience life’s challenges differently. One might take their first breakup in stride, while it sends another into a tailspin. The real question is not what problems they’re facing, but how they’re handling them. I invite you to take a look at the next question to see some of the emotional and behavioral signs that therapy might be helpful.

For teens struggling with anxiety, depression, ADHD, or trauma, therapy is an essential source of support. And whenever someone is expressing hopelessness or talking about harming themselves, it should be taken seriously. But everyday stress can weigh heavily on teens too, and they don’t yet have the skills or experience to manage those emotions.

Here are some signs that your teen might benefit from therapy:

• Withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they enjoy

• Emotional shifts and mood changes (worry, sadness, listlessness, irritability) that are unusually intense or last more than a few weeks

• Becoming perfectionistic or highly self-critical

• Feelings of overwhelm or struggling to cope with academic demands, relationships, social media, or other stressors

• Noticeable changes in behavior, like an unusual drop in grades or increased risk-taking

You might be concerned that your teen will respond negatively to a suggestion of therapy. They might feel criticized or feel embarrassed that their struggles are noticeable, or they might be worried about what others will think. Here are a few ideas for approaching this important topic:

• Keep it calm, open-ended, and nonjudgmental. “I’ve noticed that it seems like you’re [down, stressed, struggling] these days. I’d like to try to help you feel better. What do you think about having a conversation with a therapist for some support?”

 • Provide accurate information and normalize therapy. “It’s not a punishment; it’s a place to feel seen and heard, and to get some support. Lots of people, and lots of teens, go to therapy when they’re having a hard time. It’s like getting coaching for a sport or tutoring for a class. It’s help to feel better and stronger.”

• If they’re hesitant, do your best to validate their feelings. “I get why you’re not so sure about this.” You can ask if they’re willing to try one session and see how it goes.

 • You can also support their individual agency by involving them in the process of choosing a therapist and deciding whether to have sessions virtually or in person.

 • If they really resist, don’t pressure them. Be patient. They will probably keep thinking about what you’ve said, and you can always come back to it again later.

Let me know what works best for your teen! Some benefit from the comfort and convenience of virtual sessions from home, while others prefer an in-person experience. If you have questions or want to explore this further, please reach out to me. I will gladly work with you to find the best arrangement for your teen and your family.